Usually when I’m getting ready for a date I pick out my favorite outfit, my highest heels, spritz a bit of Dolce & Gabbana in all the right places and doll myself up.
This was NOT the case yesterday night.
The goal was to attract the least amount of attention to myself so I put on my jogging pants, burberry flip flops and grey tank top. Yes, I picked out neutral colors on purpose. I almost wore a hat and sunglasses as well but I didn’t want peopl to think I was hiding from the law either. That’s probably the only way this dinner date could’ve been any worse.
I drove my little purple scion xa, which I named Dewey, to the panera bread on Pines Blvd. On the way I must have stopped 3 times to avoid getting there. The good thing about it is that I got some new make-up, a very cute top and some amazing patent leather shoes out of my night, but then again, my credit cards weren’t very happy.
I blame my professor.
I walk in the door and all eyes are on me. It’s like that scene in a movie where the little kids cry when they see you, the women whisper and walk away and the creepy old men wink or smile only because they do it as a reflex.
I order my mac and cheese and half of a salad. I must admit, the food itself was amazing I think at one point I even forgot I was alone- but don’t get too excited, it was only for a few seconds! I spent my 30 minutes there NOT minding my own business and eavsdropping on the couples around me.
One couple was talking about their salad. They were approximately 80 years old. I think by that age the fact that they have anything to talk about is amazing so I liten carefully. She tells her companion that the one she buys at Sedano’s is never this good. I laugh to myself.
To my other side I see a mom with her two children. They argue back and forth about eating their veggies. Now there’s a conversation I heard way too many times as a child. I quickly lose interest. I look down and my food is already gone. I can breathe again. I hurriedly run out and sit in my car for about 15 minutes before I can feel like myself again and drive home.